Why I’m not Living for the Weekend
I can put up that fake public persona as well as the next person. I’m all smiles, how was your day? What are you doing this weekend? Can’t wait for Friday! I’ve done it for so long that I actually enjoy it. But that’s not how I want to live my life.
I’ve heard a lot of advice on how to get the biggest bang for my buck, in how to live to the fullest. I heard that we shouldn’t spend our money on things, we should spend it on experience. Okay. Cool. I donated everything that I couldn’t fit into a car and moved across continental America, all in search of that better life, that better experience. Just to make sure, I gave away/sold everything and did it one more time after that, reaching all the way from one coast to the other. Now I’m three thousand miles away, cut off from all the connections, stores, people, I grew up with my entire life. Starting over.
I spent my money on experiences. From the black sandy shores of Guatemala, to the ancient ruins of Ephesus. I’ve swam in the Dead Sea, the Pink Lake, the Mediterranean, the Pacific and the Atlantic. I’ve walked the same trails that saints and philosophers have walked, and said my prayers in mosques, at Solomon’s temple, at the Mount of Beatitudes by the sea of Galilee. I’ve admired art and relics of lost cultures. I went out into the world. I saw and I learned. And yes, there are others who have seen more and learned more, but this is what I’ve gotten out of it all.
After all that travel, chasing after all of those experiences, I’m still left with myself.
When I’m not moving, searching for myself in far away places, wherever I am, I’m still me. I am never going to find happiness outside of myself, wherever I am. There isn’t one place to go that is going to have the answer. In order to really and truly be happy, that is something that comes from within. Wherever I am, I can find happiness, if I work to make it, myself.
If I’m sitting at work, or chores, just trying to get through the drudgery of it, thinking of the weekend, thinking of that next vacation, that next adventure, I am going to rush through all of the little things. I am going to forget about all the little happy moments–that cup of coffee, that well-written report, that smile from a lover, that laugh with a co-worker, that spark of understanding from a student, the word of appreciation from a friend–all of those little building blocks are the foundation of happiness.
